Rock With Me Baby!

Fortunately, I'm not really prone to bad dreams. But over the course of the thirteen years I've been with my partner, Marcus, there is a scary nightmare I've had more than once.

I'm all alone in the house. All of the windows and doors are wide open. It's raining and the water pours in, streaming across the floors. I'm not actually paralyzed. But I can't move. I'm frightened but also very angry. I don't know what to do. At my side are two small suitcases, there getting damaged by the rain.

And then as sometimes happens in a dream, I understand what's going on. I realize I can't keep the house without Marcus. I can't afford the house alone. Sometimes, in the dream, I've lost the house because I can't pay the inheritance tax. Other times I've been bankrupted by lawyer's fees because his parents are suing me to gain possession of the house (a thing they would never actually do. But, it's a nightmare). Sometimes, I just don't have enough money because I don't have access to Marcus' social security. Just that extra bit would be enough of a safety net.

But I don't have that. I don't have his social security because in the eyes of the law i am a stranger to him.

Finally I just leave the house, because I don't know what else to do.

This is the only dream that has caused me to awaken, gasping and in a sweat, since I was a child.

I haven't had the dream in a couple of years, but the terrifying memory of it came rushing back to me when my friend Tanner Efinger invited me to be a part of a rally and "rock-in" called rock for equality to raise awareness and funds to fight the inequities of social security benefits for LGBT Americans. Please visit www.rockforequality.org to learn more.

I'm involved because I want GLBT seniors afforded the same rights as straight seniors.

Okay, that's not the whole reason. It's not even the main reason.

Mostly I'm involved for myself. And for Marcus. I just want what's ours.

I think about Don't Ask Don't Tell and all of the years it has managed to exist, in spite of how clearly wrong it is. Time truly does fly.

There always seems to be a reason to treat people badly. Always a reason why the timing is wrong.

Change? Maybe not.

Progress? Maybe next year.

I'm in my forties. There is a very real chance that in twenty years--when I'm really thinking about social security benefits--that I still might not have equality.

I'm not predicting that. I will not be accepting that.

So to make sure that's not my fate. I'm talking now. I'm making a fuss.

I'm rocking.

Will you rock with me?