It all Comes Down to Love!

This year, Marcus said it first.

He gave Theo a gentle nudge to pry her from his pillow. She purred, hoping against odds that he might choose her over me. When Marcus didn't, she hopped off the bed and Marcus nuzzled up beside me.

"Happy Valentine's day, Bug," he whispered.

"Happy Valentine's day, Bug." I grinned and gave him a kiss.

Theo gave us about three minutes of privacy before she jumped back up on the bed. I don't think she knows she's a cat. At some point, she decided that she was Marcus' wife. Fortunately, I have not been cast as the other woman. I'm more like Mom. When she's sick or wants food, she's all over me. But when she needs love, It's Marcus' arms she leaps into. It's his nose she licks.

"Happy Valentine's day, darling," Marcus told Theo. She pressed into his arms, and he shrugged. Sorry bug, I have to please the Mrs, his raised shoulders seemed to be saying to me.

Then he giggled sweetly. And suddenly I remembered that I love Marcus.

I should clarify that I am usually aware that I love him. But in fact, the awareness of love is not at the forefront of memory twenty-four hours a day. Not for me. Not for anyone, I suppose. Between life and stress and work, there are many other things to think about.

But when these moments happen--this morning's giggle for example; or a thoughtful e-mail he's sent for no reason, a particuarlar glance in my direction, or even just hearing him call me Bug--I remember that I love him.

I suppose this isn't revelatory, what I'm writing here. I imagine this is much the way it goes for all couples who've been together beyond the early flush of romance and discover that they have the desire to build a life together. That living with the other person is fun and difficult and extraordinary and the only way of being that makes any real sense.

On Valentine's day, we all celebrate that very special kind of love. Of course, if one hopes to have more than just one Valentine's day with the same person (I've had 12 with Marcus) on some level the celebrating must happen every day of the year.

This is true for all couples.

And maybe that's why I care about Valentine's day. Because it's a day for all couples. It's a day we recognize how the same all of us who are in relationships are--in spite of superficial differences like age and race and gender and orientation.

One day a year we collectively agree that loving another person is a great gift. It's an awesome responsibility. It is a challenge. It is a hope.

All people are allowed to celebrate Valentine's day. There is no single group that's unwelcome. Because on this one day a year we all seem to understand that it all comes down to love.

And if you have it--if you have been blessed with this sacred gift-- you are welcomed to be a part of the celebration.

Today we're all equal in our love.

Tomorrow?

Well that's another story.