Oklahoma, NOT OK!

I am a college graduate. And I am a writer. I begin by mentioning these facts as a way of proving that I generally have a basic understanding of the English language. When I read something I can usually ascertain the meaning of the words.

Yet I have just read a brief story on Advocate.com (three times, in fact) and I can't figure it out. This is in no way a reflection on the story's reporter--Julie Bolcer. Each of her sentences clearly has a subject and a predicate. If I still remembered how, I'm sure I could diagram each and every one of them. She's writing in paragraphs. It's all good.

Except that it's not.

Let's start with the headline: Okla. Senate Opts Out of Hate Crime Act

You can do that?

You would want to do that?

Below is Julie's first sentence:

"Oklahoma state senator Steve Russell pushed an amendment Wednesday night that makes it possible for the state to circumvent the portion of the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Protection Act that concerns LGBT protections."

Now that I've read it a fourth time, it's a little clearer: It's not the whole Hate Crimes Act he's trying to kill. It's just the part that deals with LGBT protections.

Here is the Rest of Julie Bolcer's piece:

According to NewsOK, a state law enforcement agency would not be required to share investigative files with federal agencies under the proposed changes to the Oklahoma hate-crimes bill. The bill is now headed to the house for consideration after passing the senate 39-6.

“Under the new provisions of Senate Bill 1965, reports that were collected during investigations of possible hate crime that did not end in a conviction would be destroyed or kept by the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation,” reported NewsOK.

“Russell said the bill is meant to prevent the federal law enforcement officials from taking over a case and applying different standards when local law enforcement has already investigated a case.”

The senator also said his bill is meant to protect speech of all kinds, according to NewsOK.

I do not make a habit of posting entire articles into my blog. But I'm hoping one of my readers can explain to me what I clearly don't understand.

Do you think one day this Senator woke up and thought: Oklahoma would be a much better place to live if those homosexuals felt less safe? Or, perhaps he thought, I want to be remembered as the man who did nothing when my neighbors were being harmed?

It's all deeply distressing. But there is something about the senator's motivations that I really don't understand.

I remember an episode of "LA Law" I watched a hundred years ago, so the details are now fuzzy. Here is the gist: One of the male lawyers is out on the town with his brother or an old friend, and they're attacked, called fag. At first the lawyer doesn't want to report the incident because he's straight and feels humiliated for being perceived to be gay. But, because it's TV, he works through these feelings and presses charges against his attackers.

The point is you don't actually have to be a member of the LGBT community to be the victim of an LGBT hate crime. Your attacker just has to THINK you are gay.

So, this brings me back to the Senator.

The advocate.com has included a head shot of him. He's pretty cute in conservative kind of way.

I would totally hit on him. I mean, if I was single and if I didn't know he hated gay people.

But back to his cute factor. He has very delicate features, well groomed. He's thin.

He could definitely pass.

I'm not questioning his sexuality. I assume he's 100% straight. But to the eyes of a hater? His wry smile, his impeccably manicured brows, the crispness of his collar, these mark the senator. They spell trouble.

And if this law passes (or maybe it did, I didn't really understand the article) Senator Russell, along with every real member of the LGBT community is about to find himself a whole lot less safe than he was before.

I do hope the Senator will reconsider his actions. But if he does not, for his own safety, he should really think about packing on thirty or forty pounds fast. Oh, and throw away that tweezer.