Marriage rights activist seeking same for hot, world-changing fun

I'm having a crisis.

It occurs to me that actually no one reads my blog. It's the only explanation.

My blog has 15 followers (14 if I don't count myself) and I guess for the purposes of establishing a fan base, I should not count myself.

So that's 14. 14 fans. (13 if I don't count my agent) She sort of has to be my fan. I think it's part of the job description.

And now we're 13. Lucky number 13.

I guess I've been thinking it's only these devoted 13 who took the time to register their love of me. But that thousands and thousands of others faithfully read. Enjoyed a laugh, the occasional tear, and, most importantly, heeded my advice.

Apparently not.

Last weekend I wrote about Jonathan Howard and Gregory Jones. I know of at least 13 people--14 if I count myself, and I am--who thought my suggestion was brilliant.

To recap:

I laid out a clear and simple plan in which, by voting for them (Jonathan & Gregory) in the Crate & Barrel Ultimate Wedding Contest, they would become the poster couple for gay marriage. And all around the country folks would be learning lessons of love and tolerance when they read of their victories in their morning papers or, I suppose, in blogs that, unlike mine, have a substantial readership.


Now here is what I know for a fact: More than 8700 people want to see gay marriage become a reality. Yet as of right now, that's the approximate number of votes Jonery have received. (Don't know what Jonery means? Too bad. Read my earlier post).

Here's the other thing I know for a fact--okay, I don't know it to be a fact, but I'm saying it anyway. Many of the people voting--especially the gay men--have alternate screen names that they wouldn't want, say, their mothers or boyfriends to know about. Jonery does not care if you're a little trampy. You can vote with those names, too!

That means maybe it's not 8700 people who have voted maybe it's only 5000 promiscuous people.

WE CAN DO BETTER!

This is not hard.

I'm the guy who created The Marrying Kind. I don't even approve of marriage at this moment in history. I think we should all be waiting (gay & straight) until we have equal federal marriage rights. But I can put aside my differences and recognize that the publicity that will come from this victory will be a huge step forward for gay rights.

I don't think I'm wrong about this. But if I am, how much time has this action really cost you? Two minutes. A few minutes more if you're... well you know, exceedingly friendly.

Here's an idea: Log onto one of those "other" names and make a new friend. Invite them over and before you get acquainted, log onto the Crate & Barrel Ultimate Wedding Contest and make your new friend vote. It's essential that you get them to vote before you get distracted by other things and forget the real reason you invited a total stranger into your house.

For those of you without a screen name you wouldn't want your mother to see, this would be a good time to call your mother. Get mom to vote. And all the rest of the clan.

So I should go now because I'm going to post, I mean...

I'm going to call my mother.

http://www.ultimateweddingcontest.com/entries/22682